Posts tagged Dating

Fatfished

So, I turned 30. I was totally told by Apple Care that there would be a bevy of hoes and good fortune. In the past week, I’ve gotten neither. But since a winner don’t quit on themselves, I decided to take matters into my own hands.

I logged on to a site where D&A was abundant, and intelligence and shame was void. I didn’t take my own advice by practicing self-love before getting on because that’s how you stop yourself from making bad decisions, but I figured I’m grown and I can make sage choices.

Woo shit. I was totally wrong.

I get a message from this young fellow. He was bearded and kind of fullfilled my Illadelph Fantasy (we’ll talk about that later). We had a short exchange of words, and I was off to his apartment in my neighborhood. I made up in my mind that if shit went left, that he lived by a Rite Aid and I needed to pick up deodorant so the trip wouldn’t have been in vain.

He was very secretive. He didn’t want to give me his apartment number and gave me all sorts of Alice In Wonderland ass directions to finally get there. I was slightly turned on by it.

OH THIS SHIT IS ABOUT TO BE SO LIT.me

I get to his apartment door and he opens the door where I can’t see him. He had MachoFucker porn playing on his Toshiba laptop that was in clear view. I stepped into the apartment and I get a look at him.

 

This n*gga is wide as God’s grace.

“Oh, so were those your pics,” I asked as I took a seat on the couch with a confused look on my face.

“Nah, that’s me but those are old,” he responded. He was wearing a wife beater that was so tight it could’ve only been made by NASA. “So, what’s up?”

N*gga! “What’s up?” The f*ck you mean?!

Here’s the thing:
I have no problem with fluffy men. Sometimes I’m in the market for a good thick piece of ham, but that’s not what was advertised and what I was in the mood for.
You thought that shit would fly? Like, how many people do you do this to? And how many people go along with it because they’re that f*cking horny.
You got me f*cked up.

I got up and said I had something to do. His face screwed and confused like this was a sure-fire plan to get his rocks out and couldn’t understand why it wasn’t working. Or, maybe he was hungry. I don’t know.

“Oh, aight. I have to go to work anyway,” he said.

I walked out and went to McDonald’s.

 

 

Caution: Dating A Blogger Is Hard!

We sit in front of a computer daily entertaining the masses with either social commentary on pop culture, or original content. We spend countless hours on building a solid brand to support ourselves and take a stake in new media. We spend our time interacting with fans and supporters who have made us who we are today. This all sounds hectic, yes but it’s the life we lead. However, there is one big issue that we as bloggers face that is seemingly ever present: Dating is hard.

Outside of the myths and misconceptions that bloggers or internet personalities are socially inept and just weird, dating, in my experience, has been a bit of a challenge. I have been single for quiet awhile (read: Cicely Tyson’s real age) and when I meet someone new, the same issues arise. About two years ago, I met a nice guy. He was attractive, educated, and well…he’s just fine. We met through a dating site and we hit it off real well. I never let him know initially who or what “X. D.” was because…it’s just something I don’t talk about too often. It’s not who I am entirely. We never met, the guy, and somehow he started following me on Twitter. It was then he realized who I was and retreated. It wasn’t until a year later when we randomly met up at a local restaurant where he said to me, “I wanted to date you badly, but you’re too much of a celebrity for me. I figured you would put all of our business on the internet and I couldn’t handle that.” I wish you all could see my face as I am reliving this moment. I hate excuses.  Do people really see us this way? Are we that hurt and affected of a people that when something goes wrong in our personal lives, we move to our supporters for e-motional support??

A year or so ago, I was dating someone who knew more or less who “X. D.” was. Again, me being a blogger had no part of our brief romance because I never let it define who I am. I invited him to an event as my date – arm candy for the boys to get jealous over. When we arrived at the event, I received a whole bunch of hugs, hand shakes, greetings and the like. My date had never been around “X. D.” and didn’t understand the industry entirely. He noticed that the people I was talking to were a bit flirtatious and although I kept them at bay, he got a bit jealous and left. Later, he explained he didn’t really care for all the attention and that it was all a bit too much for him.  I saw where he was coming from and apologized for throwing him in the trenches so to speak. Yet, it brought up a very valid concern as to what would happen if I happen to become “bigger?” I’m a bit more private than most when it comes to my personal life, but there will come a point where there will be a little overlap. Will they always retreat?

In any event, there will always be that “ONE” who seems to be everything that you’ve dreamed of but there always seems to be that one problem: they live across the country. Dating as a blogger is difficult because we are never sure that the prospect is falling for us or the personality that we portray to the public. When we seemingly find someone who is genuinely interested in us for who we are above what we do, we tend to hold on and perhaps even become a bit overzealous and irrational. Why? Because we aren’t used to it! There’s a point where sometimes we as bloggers what it feels like to be regular because people rarely see us as such. So when we have the opportunity to be “normal” around someone, emotions and things are amplified…

 

I can go on and on, but this is hard….