I’m often surrounded by messages, or I find myself in spaces of “self-empowerment.” There’s always a brother or sister circle advertised to uplift, encourage, and inspire. It’s often filled with phrases like “live or walk in your truth” or something that is meaningful to that group regardless of how hokey it may sound.

But… idk.

I often wonder if the question of knowing our self worth is a bit lofty. What if, even for some of us, our self worth is to be low? I often think about science and how it applies to regular-degular life — and natural selection comes up. This idea of “survival of the fittest!” Maybe everyone isn’t meant to be a star or important. This isn’t to be confused with the idea that everyone should feel validated, because that’s a thing and should continue to be. However, just maybe, some of us are just meant to be in the bleachers while the rest of us are out there going for gold.

This comes on the heels of a thought I have about relationships — a common theme: good enough to fuck, but not good enough in which to be in a relationship with. What is it about someone that makes them only good to fuck, but not good enough to cultivate a relationship? What is it that makes the folks who are sitting in the proverbial bleachers stay this way? How did it come to be? What is it about the proverbial players who are going for the gold that makes them stand out? Stellar? I’m learning that there are roles that we all play in life. Some of us are good and comfortable being in the bleachers. Some of us are good and content on winning that gold medal.  Some of us fall in between.

Just some thoughts. Discuss below.


  1. LENORA May 19, 2016 at 6:37 pm

    Fuck all that we gotta go on vacations

  2. Kandi May 19, 2016 at 6:42 pm

    Everybody isn’t meant to be Beyoncé or Oprah, they will both tell you that it takes a team to get them to where they are. They don’t do it alone, some a content being on the team. I’m one of those.

  3. Amethyst May 19, 2016 at 7:08 pm

    I think on this a lot too. I believe some of us are created to sit on the bleachers as you put it. What I struggle with is whether there is any point of going against your “assignment” in life. If you were made to sit on the bleachers is there any point in dreaming big?

  4. Kiersten May 19, 2016 at 11:32 pm

    It is perfect time to make some plans for the long run and it
    is time to be happy. I’ve read this put up and if I could I wish to
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  5. Kosep1988 May 20, 2016 at 12:55 am

    I get it. I mean we all can’t be Beyonce. Sometimes it’s ok to be our best Kelly or Michelle. Sometimes all we get to be is Latavia. Hell even Farrah.

  6. Jonay May 22, 2016 at 9:00 pm

    This is something I struggle with all of time. I once read that “dreams are wise urgings of the higher self” so I love to dream but I am never satisfied and I don’t want to live my life in a constant state of dissatisfaction. I think our society perpetuates these views. Each and every one of us have these ideas of what we want our perfect life to be and reality has a hard time catching up. It is always my prayer to love myself for who I am and where I am right now and if I’m in a relationship to feel the same way about that person.

  7. Kristen May 26, 2016 at 11:25 pm

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  8. Jason May 29, 2016 at 6:09 pm

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  9. Frank May 29, 2016 at 10:27 pm

    I could not refrain from commenting. Very well written!


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